After the storm

“Don’t do this to me! Not on valentines day!” I ran after her. She hurried to her blue beetle. She swung and launched her backpack full of her clothes on the backseat. I ran barefooted after her, my heart singing a dreadful tune. Everything said perky outside. It was sunny yet there was an on and off breeze that balanced it out. She would have been the one to mention just how perfect the weather was, but she was a storm. She suddenly turned around, and I waited for the thunder. I waited for her to stab me with her words-Some truths that I couldn’t accept. She said nothing. She just looked at me a little longer as if her tears blurred her vision and she wanted to get one last good look at me before she leaves forever.

That’s when I realized that maybe without knowing it she was giving me another chance. And I realized that whatever I say next would never truly and accurately translate how I felt about her. If only she couldn’t understand how hurting her hurts me most, and how her tears stung more than any word she could possibly utter. My stomach seemed to mimic her convoluted hair. I was nervous. Instinctively, I thought of holding on to her hands as I usually do when I’m with her and feel this way.

“ I’m sorry. I had no idea you cared so much about valentines day! I’ll take you to your favorite restaurant right now, if you want to. Just don’t leave me, babe!”

I had a bad habit of offering my best deal up front. I wouldn’t know what to do if that wasn’t enough. My words managed to agitate her even more

“ It’s not about valentines day! I don’t care about a stupid holiday. It’s us. It’s you!

There was this pressure building inside of me with the realization that this could be it. I swear, in that moment, I loved her with more energy than I’ve had in me, with far more passion. If screaming could translate how I felt, I promise the world would hear it. To think that a few minutes ago, I was ignoring her, and for what? A stupid video game!

“ How could you say that! You know that I love you. I can’t… I don’t know how else to say it. If you could just feel how I feel, babe. If only you knew! How …how could you say that!”

The words hit her like a brick and her face relaxed on impact.

“Baby…maybe… sometimes loving someone isn’t just about how you feel. Maybe, loving someone just…isn’t enough…and before you cut me off, let me just telling you that I love you because you may think that I don’t right now, but i do. I do! But c’mon! We fight for everything! Every…little…thing, baby! We fight over who we should be friends with…let me finish! We fight over using the bathroom, the TV. We fight over how much sex we should have! Almost as if we were kids pretending to live together. And this for the past two years!”

“ That’s true.You know, you’re right. And isn’t that what everyone used to say about us? “How is it that you two are together? You’re always arguing!” Right? They still do; they still say it, right? Yet for those past two years all I can remember are the good times we spent together. And it could just be that the glitches made the better times even better. I admit, It’s true that we fight over dumb silly things, but isn’t it also true that we are always there for one another? Wouldn’t you also agree, babe, that we often fight just so we can have each other’s attention?”

She took me by surprise when, in between tears, she smiled in recognition. Then I cried some more and it wasn’t because I was hurt.

She’s a red head. She was naturally born hot and to make it fair God sprinkled love all over her face and body. She’s a storm. She rains down on me.

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